Nobody warned me about Baldur's Gate 3's grotesque opening cutscene
If you're a bit of a squeamish person like me, it won't take much to make your stomach churn. I screamed in John Wick 3 when Keanu Reeves stabbed a knife into some bloke's eye. I screamed again in John Wick 4 when one of the characters chopped their finger off. Knock it off, John Wick! Body horror has never been my forte—hell, even the relatively tame entrails cape in Diablo 4's opening cutscene made me feel a little funny.
It's why I'm so damn mad I somehow managed to go three whole years with absolutely no knowledge of the opening cutscene for Baldur's Gate 3. Maybe you're like me and don't have time to keep up with every facet of videogaming, or perhaps you've been intentionally avoiding Larian's marketing so you can go into the game totally fresh and unaware of what awaits you. Either way, there's a chance you'll also be totally blindsided by what I was forced to witness without any prior warning.
There I was, having just eaten dinner, in the mood to meticulously comb through Baldur's Gate 3's character creator—which I thought was rather neat—and finally see what all the fuss was about. Yeah, side note, I haven't actually played a Baldur's Gate before. Sorry about that, I'm trying to fix that OK? Anyway, I booted up the game, half-contemplating skipping on the cutscenes. After all, early access progress is going poof when the game releases, so I don't want to get myself too invested two weeks before I'm forced to start over again.
I 100% should've listened to that instinct, because I was not prepared to see a goddamn tadpole crawling underneath Lae'Zel's eyelid. What is it with ARPGs and putting some of the most grotesque body horror shit in their immensely detailed cutscenes?! The slimy squiggling underneath flesh was simply too much. I felt my food rising as I slammed my eyes shut and my fingers frantically grazed across my keyboard desperately trying to find the Esc key.
Why did nobody warn me about this? Does everyone have stomachs of steel or something? Our Guides Editor Lauren Aitken extended an apology to me for warning the entire guides team about the horrors contained within Baldur's Gate 3's opening minute, yet failing to brief the most sensitive and squeamish baby on the team (me).
So yeah, those with easily-turned stomachs be wary of that very first cutscene when you boot up Baldur's Gate 3 for the first time. I swallowed my pride (and vomit) and headed over to YouTube to see how long the cutscene is—and just how embarrassingly long it existed without my knowledge—to find out exactly when the gut-wrenching moment takes place. It's around a minute-and-a-half in, if you're wanting to peep the entire six-minute cutscene without gross eyeball parasites. Then again, maybe you're into that, I don't judge.
It almost definitely won't be the only grotesque nugget of deformity and maiming we'll see in Baldur's Gate 3, either. Online Editor Fraser Brown very kindly (not) pointed me towards the original teaser trailer that shows a rather upsettingly gross transformation. Larian has no intention of shying away from the repugnant, going out of its way to tap into the weirder side of D&D. For me, I think I'll be chickening out of all future cutscenes from now on. Who needs to play a game for the story anyway?