GameStop's 'Trade Anything Day' has some employees bracing for the worst: 'We're probably going to have to reject some of the things because they're a biological hazard'

If you've ever had a burning urge to make a fellow human being miserable, GameStop's latest promotional idea seems perfectly designed to accommodate such antisocial ambition. It's "Trade Anything Day," an obviously bad idea cooked up by the disconnected braintrust at head office, during which customers will be able to trade in (almost) anything for in-store credit.

GameStop is famous for its trade-in program, of course, but historically it's been limited to games: buy one, take it home, finish it, bring it back, trade it in for a tiny bit of store credit, and perpetuate the cycle. The rise of digital distribution has put a fork into it (and GameStop) but there was a time when it was a very big part of the biz, even for PC gamers: I bought plenty of pre-owned games back in the days when driving to the mall was an integral part of the 'buying a game' experience.

This promotion is an absurd, one-day revival of those glory days: On December 6, you can bring in any old piece of crap and trade it as though it were a videogame you played but did not enjoy enough to form any attachments to.

As noted by documentation shared on Reddit (because I don't see the promised "more information" on the GameStop website), customers are limited to one item traded in, for which they will get $5 store credit, and they won't take things like hazardous waste, drugs, booze, guns, and animals, dead or alive, unless they've been properly stuffed and mounted. Not joking about that.

As you'd expect if you've spent any time at all in retail, GameStop employees are absolutely dreading this day. "I'm not prepared for the 'bring anything to trade' day," one employee wrote on the GameStop subreddit (via Polygon). "I just know I'm going to have to handle some nasty shit. And not only that, we're probably going to have to reject some of the things because they're a biological hazard.

"I'm gonna have so many customers asking me 'HoW cOmE yOu CaN’t TaKe iT iN' cause we can't bro? Please for the love of every single GameStop employee READ THE GUIDELINES. I may be over-exaggerating it, but I have a feeling it'll be a bad day in general."

I was a long-term retail employee myself, in a business not entirely unlike GameStop, and I can assure you of this: You are absolutely not exaggerating it.

"Hi all, former ASM [assistant store manager] and I just heard about Trade Anything Day," another wrote in a different thread. "My heart aches and I have anxiety for all of you still there. I knew corporate was dangerously incompetent but didn't know they actively hated their employees."

Comment from r/GameStop

This guy's video might seem over the top, but again, as someone who worked in retail long enough to encounter more than a few district managers, all I can say is that it sounds about right.

A few people, like that unnamed GameStop DM, have pointed out that the list of disallowed items is quite clear, and so wonder what the concern is.

"Are you new to people?" redditor Trashboat77 asked in response to one such statement. "They don't even read 4-12 word signs on the door as they walk through it. Why would they read an entire list with small print?"

December 6, in short, has the potential to be a Very Bad Day for GameStop employees, and it's important first and foremost that anyone looking to trade in Uncle Frank's ashes for a fiver keeps one thing in mind: It's not their fault. They didn't dream up this dumbass idea and they don't like it, and they sure don't deserve any "you asked for it" kind of guffola. "Don't be shitty with retail employees" should be SOP anyway, but especially on days where their companies really put them on the firing line, try to keep it in mind.

Beyond just "treat people with basic respect," though, there's an opportunity to actually get something good out of this. The doc shared on Reddit says "suitable items traded will be donated to a local charity," and one poster in the GameStop subreddit said they're encouraging customers "to bring non perishable canned foods and such or toys since they all get donated to local charities."

"Buy a $.70 can of soup trade it for $5 credit and help needy families get food this holiday," MegaMan8115 wrote. "I'm always down for that."

As less-than-thrilled as I am about GameStop getting a big ol' tax writeoff on a stupid, self-serving stunt (and that's what programs like this are really about: MegaMan8115 said the SKU for the $5 credit will be treated as a charitable donation), this is a great idea. You could just donate directly to your local food bank and be done with it, but if you really want to be a part of the circus on Trade Anything day (or you just really want that five bucks), this is the way: Have some fun, do a little good, and remind GameStop employees (who probably need it) that sometimes, the world is not a bottomless pit of malice and despair.